In 2004, I became so frustrated with my team, the Miami Dolphins. Mainly then-coach Dave Wannstedt and QB Jay Fiedler. In an attempt to vent my frustration, I created another website "Inside The Dolphin's Offense." Unfortunately, I did not have the time to keep up with it, and the initial front page (below, minus the pretty formatting) is about as far as I got.

INSIDE THE DOLPHIN'S OFFENSE

"Thank God I'm Not The Starting QB!"

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My name is Mike Register. Keep visiting this website to get all the latest "Inside" info on the pungent...errrr, potent, Miami Dolphins Offense.

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LATEST RUMOR!!! Word has it that GM Rick Spielman has offered LB Eddie Moore, San Diego DB Jamar Fletcher, and WR David Boston to the
Kansas City Chiefs in exchange for HB Larry Johnson. Spielman believes the trade would be great for both teams, as Miami would recieve the tough inside runner they
need and Boston, Fletcher and Moore would solve the Chiefs defensive woes and give the offense the big play receiving threat they are lacking. Upon hearing the news, KC Coach
Dick Vermiel simutaneously laughed and cried. (9/28/04)

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ROSTER UPDATE Coach Dave Wannstedt believes so strongly that Kicker Olindo Mare will redeem himself for last year's missed field
goals against New England that he has already named Mare the starting QB for the October 10th game at Gillette Stadium. Upon hearing the news, NE Coach Bill Belichick
simutaneously laughed and cried. (9/28/04)

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LATEST RUMOR!!! The Dolphins are expected to sign LL Cool J this week. Coach Wannstedt was impressed with his running ability in the
movie "Any Given Sunday." LL Cool J also played a football player on his own lame sitcom, so he should fit in with the Dolphins Offense. GM Spielman is currently attempting
to contact the Miami Sharks to work out a trade for the "Cool J." (9/28/04)

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SMARTEST RB EVER UPDATE If the Dolphins can't solve the running game problems by the highly anticipated showdown November 14
with BYE, Wannstedt and Spielman will inact what is known within the organization as "Blunt Plan B" to lure RB Ricky Williams back to the team. From what we have been able to
find out, the plan involves tying a bong to a long, long piece of string, dangle in front of Williams, and slowly lure him back to the Dolphins facilities. Originally Jay Fiedler
was going to be the one pulling the string, but much to Wannstedt's chagrin, Spielman has opted to go with unproven string-puller AJ Feeley. (9/28/04)

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BEST QB EVER UPDATE Former Dolphins QB Dan Marino has been awoken late the last three Sunday nights by the phone ringing. When
answered, all that can be heard on the other end is uncontrollable sobing and mumbles of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please come back." No word yet on who the caller could be. (9/28/04)

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DOLPHINS TEAM FUN UPDATE The Dolphins Defensive players have affectionately come up with nicknames for the Offensive Lineman. They
include Wade "Dwight Freeney's Bag Boy" Smith, John "Revolving Door"St Clair, Damien "My ankle is broken but I'm still better then Mark Dixon" Mc Intosh, Seth "Stop touching
my ass" McKinney, Vernon "Can I get another year of College Eligibilty" Carey, and Taylor "Goddamnit block someone mother fucker!!!" Whitley. (9/28/04)

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FORMER PLAYER UPDATE Former Dolphins Offensive Linemen Mark Dixon, Tim Ruddy, Todd Wade, Jamie Nails, Todd Perry, Brent Smith, Kevin Donalley,
Keith Simms, and Richmond Webb have all been awoken the last three Sunday nights by the phone ringing. When
answered, all that can be heard on the other end is uncontrollable sobing and mumbles of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please come back." No word yet on who the caller could be. (9/28/04)

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STAT OF THE WEEK Through two and a half games, AJ Feeley has passed for a total of 523 yards. Dan Marino once passed for 521 yards in ONE GAME. Still wonder
if Wayne Huizenga considers Feeley the next Dan Marino?

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Cleveland fans desperate for Brady Quinn

Tom Brady. Peyton Manning. Brady Quinn.

One of these things is not like the other. One of these things does not belong.

Brady Quinn lit up Detroit's third string defense in last week's exhibition game. Folks in Cleveland have jumped on the Quinn bandwagon.

How can an entire town get behind someone as unlikeable as Brady Quinn? The city of Cleveland is so starved for a winner that they are willing to overlook Quinn's arrogance, overrated ability, and lengthy contract holdout. The fans in Cleveland are already calling for Quinn as the starter.

I know Charlie Frye and Derek Anderson have been awful behind the center, but does anyone really think starting a rookie who missed training camp will make the Browns a better team?

Five of Cleveland's first six games (Pittsburgh, Oakland, Baltimore, New England, and Miami) are against teams with great defenses. Starting Quinn to open the season is about as smart as playing "hide the salami" with Tom Cruise, Lance Bass, and Richard Simmons.

Not even Dan Marino, the only true passing QB (take that VY) to make the Pro Bowl as a rookie, would have held up against those teams. For the record, Marino didn't even start the first five games of his rookie season.

While Frye and Anderson aren't long-term options at QB, head coach Romeo Crennel knows his job is on the line and he needs to start the player who gives him the best chance to win now. Quinn is not that guy, at least until week 7.

5,000 yards passing for Jon Kitna?

312 1/2. That is how many yards per game a QB must throw for to reach 5,000 in a season.

Only one man has done it before: Dan Marino.

NFL.com analyst Pat Kirwan recently proclaimed that "Kitna is on his way to a 5,000 yard season."

Kitna has several things going his way that could result in a 5,000 yard season. Most notably:

1) WRs Roy Williams, Calvin Johnson, and Mike Furrey. The Lions have two legitimate #1 receivers and a great slot receiver in Furrey. It will be hard for any team to double cover any Lions receiver.

2) Offensive coordinator Mike Martz loves the throw the ball. His offenses in St Louis were dubbed "The Greatest Show on Turf." This season with the Lions could be even more explosive.

3) The Lions figure to be playing from behind a lot this year, meaning they will be forced to pass the ball more often.

Kitna also has a few things going against him in the 5,000 yard chase:

1) Peyton Manning's never done it. In his nine years in the league, Manning has never even come close to 5,000. He has Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne to throw to. His team's pass the ball a lot. If today's best passing QB hasn't reached 5,000 yards in a season, how can Jon Kitna?

2) 2001, the heyday of "The Greatest Show on Turf," saw Kurt Warner throw for 4,830 yards. Not only did he have two great receivers to throw to in Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt, he had a great RB behind him in Marshall Faulk. That season Faulk ran for 1300 yards and added another 700 receiving. Faulk kept the opposing defenses from dropping back and playing the pass every down. Can Tatum Bell, TJ Duckett, Kevin Jones, or Brian Calhoun be that guy for Kitna?

3) Last season Kitna averaged 7.1 yards per attempt, a career best as a starter. If that number stays the same, that means Kitna will have to throw the ball 705 times (or 44 times a game) to reach 5,000. Drew Bledsoe owns the season record with 691 in 1994. The Lions will be throwing a lot this year, but Kitna's arm would fall off if he was asked to throw the ball 44 times a game.

4) Oakland, Philadelphia, Chicago, Denver, Dallas, San Diego. The Lions face some pretty good defenses this year. These seven games (two against Chicago) will make it tough for Detroit to pass for a ton of yards.

5,000 yards, while not impossible for Kitna to reach, is highly improbable. Look for Kitna to go over the 4,000 yard mark again, but come short of 5,000. Either way, he will make a lot of Fantasy Football owners happy.