Forbes releases NFL franchise values

Want to buy your favorite NFL team? Depending on who you follow, that could set you back up to 1.5 BILLION dollars. The Vikings, Falcons, and, surprisingly, the 49ers can be had for less than $800 million.

Stadium situation played a huge role in Forbes' calculations. It also seems that perennial winning teams are worth more the habitual losers. The graph below shows each team's value. The Forbes article can be found here.

(click on image for a larger view)

Advanced Computer Simulation Predicts 2007 NFL Season

I've had my graphing calculator, a fine TI-83 made by Texas Instruments, for 10 years now. It has gotten me through many college math classes with a good grade. Now it will predict the 2007 NFL season, complete with records and more!

How you ask? Don't ask. Cause if I told you how I managed to get a TI-83 to predict the future, you'd proceed to tell me how I have too much free time, no life, and/or both. Just know that all won/loss records are COMPLETELY random, and I asked a few yes/no questions to elaborate on the results.

AFC EAST:
1. Miami (10-6): The Fins start out 3-5, then go 7-1 after beating the NY Giants "at home" in London.
2. New England (10-6): The Pats finish strong after starting the season 4-5.
3. NY Jets (10-6): The Jets were in control at midseason with a 6-2 record, but couldn't hold off Miami and New England. Miami won the tiebreaker with a 5-1 division record.
4. Buffalo (6-10)

AFC SOUTH:
1. Indianapolis (12-4): The Colts cruise in a mediocre AFC South.
2. Houston (8-8): TI-83 thinks the Falcons were dumb for trading QB Matt Schaub.
3. Jacksonville (8-8)
4. Tennessee (6-10)

AFC NORTH:
1. Cleveland (11-5): The first really "crazy" prediction has to be the Browns winning 11 games. TI-83 likes Brady Quinn, and thinks he will start right away for Cleveland.
2. Pittsburgh (7-9)
3. Baltimore (6-10) Dark clouds ahead for the Ravens and Bengals! TI-83 predicts major injuries will do both teams in!
4. Cincinnati (5-11)

AFC WEST:
1. Denver (9-7): TI-83 thinks the AFC West will have a seriously down year.
2. Oakland (9-7): Not that strange compared to the Browns pick.
3. Kansas City (9-7)
4. San Diego (6-10): TI-83 thinks Norv Turner will be a huge flop as head coach. But six wins does seem too harsh.

NFC EAST:
1. Philadelphia (10-6): McNabb leads the Eagles back on top.
2. NY Giants (8-8)
3. Washington (8-8)
4. Dallas (3-13): TI-83 thinks Dallas should have taken Brady Quinn and that Romo and new coach Wade Phillips will bomb.

NFC SOUTH:
1. Tampa Bay (13-3): Jeff Garcia has a career year in Tampa. Which is more likely to happen: Tampa winning 13, Cleveland winning 11, San Diego winning 6, or Dallas winning 3?
2. Carolina (8-8)
3. New Orleans (6-10): Brees and Peyton come back down to earth.
4. Atlanta (6-10): Even a random simulator knows better than to pick the Dirty Birds to win more than six.

NFC NORTH:
1. Detroit (10-6): TI-83 agrees with Jon Kitna and Peter King: The Lions' offense under Mike Martz will be sick!
2. Green Bay (8-8)
3. Chicago (6-10): TI-83 not sold on Rex Grossman at QB and Cedric Benson at RB
4. Minnesota (6-10)

NFC WEST:
1. San Francisco (9-7): Interesting how the TI-83 predicts the parity of the NFC West to continue.
2. Seattle (9-7)
3. Arizona (7-9)
4. St Louis (7-9)

PLAYOFFS
First Round:
(AFC)
#3 Miami over #6 NY Jets
#5 New England over #4 Denver
(NFC)
#6 NY Giants over #3 Detroit
#4 San Francisco over #5 Seattle
Second Round:
(AFC)
#5 New England over #1 Indianapolis
#2 Cleveland over #3 Miami
(NFC)
#6 NY Giants over #1 Tampa Bay
#2 Philadelphia over #4 San Francisco

AFC Championship:
Cleveland over New England
NFC Championship:
Philadelphia over NY Giants

SUPER BOWL:
Philadelphia over Cleveland

Seem far fetched and way off base (and any other cliche you can think of)? Maybe, maybe not. Every NFL season is full of surprises, and the "experts" are almost always wrong. All they do with their predictions is project what happened the year before onto the following season.

I will revisit these predictions as the season goes along to see how they pan out. Remember, these predictions are not mine, they were derived randomly from my TI-83 calculator.

My Brain Hurts...(And other random thoughts)

Kudos to profootballtalk.com for their coverage of the Michael Vick/dogfighting scandal. They have been all over Vick since the water bottle incident. While at times it seems they harbor some secret hatred of Vick, they are not afraid to tell it like it is.

There's a new World Series of Poker Main Event Champion, and its an amateur, again. Jerry Yang won a boatload of money and the WSOP bracelet on Tuesday. While I am all for the little guy winning (especially if I am the little guy), it would be nice to see a recognizable poker pro win the Main Event again.

Jerry Jones is building a huge freaking stadium for the Cowboys. Only $300 million of the estimated $1 billion dollar cost is being paid by taxpayers. I am not a huge Cowboy fan, but I do have to applaud Jones for his desire to win and ability to find new sources of revenue to support his team.

If anyone is interested in joining our fantasy football team, send me your email address. We have a 12 team league on NFL.com and may have a few spots open.

Does anyone care any more about soccer now that David Beckham is playing in the MLS? I know I don't. Soccer will never be big in the US because all of the best athletes play football, basketball, or baseball. That and the fact that soccer sucks.

Bored? Check out Teddy KGB's Place. The soundboard is hilarious.

Finally some competition for EA Sport's stagnant Madden franchise. All-Pro Football 2K8 is now in stores. The game doesn't have NFL teams or current players, but does sport an impressive list of retired pros. Any game that will allow me to build a team with Dan Marino, Jerry Rice, and Barry Sanders sounds like a winner to me.